The Adventures of The Insane Army
by TheInsaneArmy
Summary: WARNING: OC'S EVERWHERE. Details inside. ENJOY. Read if your bored, it's full of comic relief
1. Chapter 1

**This Is a Story About the Insane Army.**

**Many of our officers are writers here on FFN and we are all co-writing this story so to speak together. Each segment will be marked and such.**

**Enjoy:**

**The Adventures of The Insane Army.**

**By: All of our members.**

**Dislaimer: None of us are Tite Kubo; none of us own bleach.**

**If you wish to learn more about us, let Tsukiyomi no Miko or Sakura2010-shs know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**ALRIGHT ... HERE'S EPICAL STORY PART ONE!!**

**ENJOY THE CRACK OF IT ALL!!**

* * *

_Written By: PlasmaKnight_

_Taicho - Division 11_

...

**-Somewhere in the North Atlantic-**

Tsukiyomi is staring wordlessly out into the not-ocean.

Tsuki: What's our depth?

Sakura: (At the control pannel) 20,000 leagues.

Tsuki: Take her to 21.

Sakura: 21?! But.... why?!

Tsuki: Because it's more fantastical.

(banging from the door)

Tsuki: Don't open that door. It's evil Dr. Reef.

Dindella: It's probably just sharks!

Bella: I'm answering it.

Tsuki: Don't. If you do, we'll drown.

Bella: Yeah? Good! (punches a large button, opening the door to the not-ocean)

From the open door, a forklift drives in, bearing a load of 2X4's. It drives into the center of the room, deposits the load, and drives out. Nobody reacts at all until after it leaves. Tsuki gives the 2X4's a long, hard look.

Tsuki: My god, giant wooden Eels! SURFACE! SURFACE!

Sakura: (Throws a lever.)

Tsuki: Speed up!

Sakura: (Throws another lever.)

Tsuki: Not that fast!

Sakura: (Tries to correct, causes not-turbulence)

Tsuki: I'm blacking out! (does so)

Several moments later...

Tsuki: Sylira-san is dead! Murder! Sakura-san, serve the first course!

Sakura: Aye aye Soutaicho, coleslaw, coming up! (Walks offscreen)

Tsuki: All we can do now is eat. And bring in my first suspect. Dindella-chan, get Raxis-san!

Raxis: I've been here the whole time.

Tsuki: So, you admit to killing Sylira-san?

Raxis: She isn't even dead.

Sylira: (groans)

Tsuki: It's a reflex action, don't confuse the proceedings.

Raxis: So, what's wrong with her then?

Tsuki: She was murdered, with this wrench. (Holds up a wrench) but, what is the wrench for?

Dindella: You were using that to fix the gas leak. Only, you made it worse.

Tsuki: Is that where all my ideas are coming from? Because they're brilliant!

Bella: Not likely...

* * *

_Written By: Sakura2010-shs_

_Taicho - Division 2_

_..._

**1/2 Hour later.**

Saku: are we in a sub or a plane

Tsuki: don't you know?

Raxis: Lady Sakura... your our pilot, how do you not know?

Saku: Did i mention I've never flown a plane before?

Bella: OMG! We're in a plane? *dashes to window*

Dindella: *sitting in corner angry because Raxis denied her the right to talk to her YGO characters*

Tsuki: ALRIGHT MEN! WOMEN! CHILDERN! AND LOONIES UNITE! *pushes random red button*

Saku: Tsuki-dono... uh...

Bella: *texting* Whut??

Raxis: ....

-alarms go off-

Tsuki: what'd I do?

Sylira: *busts out caramelldansen* You just hit the random dancing button!

Feronia: When I get her?

Joanymar: WHEN THE GIANT LAWN GNOMES OF DOOM SUMMONED YOU!!

Sakura: Indeed.

Dindy: *head bangs in corner*

Bella: *brings in the techno music* RAVE TIME!!!

*a shadow emerges slowly out of back of the air craft*

Ayame: If we are all dancing... who's flying this thing?

-record scatch, complete chaos-

Saku: *hits forehead* GUYS I COMPLETELY FORGOT!!

Everyone: what?

Saku: I had this thing on autopiolot the whole time!!

* * *

_Written By: PlasmaKnight_

_..._

**-2 hours later-**

Tsuki: I made a revelation everyone. We're not in an airplane at all. We're in a sub.

Shiryu: We're at the HQ.

Bella: Stop ruining it!

Tsuki: Well, in that case, we'll need to dive again.

Sakura: Okay, Soutaicho! (throws a lever, lights dim)

Tsuki: Excellent. Now that we're back in the ocean, we're going to...

Raxis: What?

Tsuki: I've got it. We'll harness the Power of the Moon to resurrect Sylira.

Sylira: I'm... not.... dead... (groans of pain)

Tsuki: My god, she won't make it. Maybe we surfaced too rapidly before?

Dindella: (dejected silence)

Sakura: We've gotta hurry and harness the power of the moon!

Raxis: How are you gonna do that?

-thirty minutes later-

All the girls are dressed up as Sailor Moon. Every one of them.

Shiryu: So why am I the masked guy then?

Bella: You just seemed appropriate.

Tsuki: Now then, we'll harness the power of the moon.... but twisting our body in bizarre motions to gather up Shojou magic.

Raxis: This is where a Geass would make it all so much easier.

* * *

_Written by: _

_Taicho - Division 6_

_..._

Everyone was randomly striking a pose.

Sakura: I don't think this is working.

Tsukiyomi: Hmm… maybe the moon isn't strong enough.

Raxis: It's a lunar eclipse!

Everyone: Really?!

Raxis: Nope.

Collective sigh.

Bella: As taicho of the 4th Division, I know exactly what we should do to revive Sylria!

Sakura: What?

Bella: We need to get her some fish!

Awkward silence.

Hitsugaya16: It might just work!

Tsukiyomi: Alright, change of plans, we're going fishing.

Joanymar: Yay! Fish are friends, not food~!

Raxis: But we're going to go fishing to get Sylria fish.

Joanymar: What's your point??

Raxis: … nevermind…

Sakura: Where to?

Tsukiyomi: Antarctica.

Everyone: What?!

Tsukiyomi: *shrugs* Blame Ryoushirou.  
_  
Ryoushirou: We attack at dawn!_

Tsukiyomi: Shut up already!

Sakura: Err, who are you talking to?

Tsukiyomi: Ryoushirou, of course.

Dindella: You know, you guys, Sylria's not going to die or anything…

Tsukiyomi: Alright, let's go everyone, to Antarctica!

Joanymar: Woo!

Sakura: Before we go…

Tsukiyomi: Yes?

Sakura: Shouldn't we change out of these costumes?

Tsukiyomi: Good point. Meet back in five.

_Ryoushirou: And then, we attack!_

Tsukiyomi: Didn't I tell you to shut up?

Joanymar: Let's dress like penguins!

Hitsugaya16: Where are we going to find penguin suits??

Joanymar: It's ok, I have some right here! *points to a trunk*

Dindella: Where did that come from?

Sakura: Who knows?

Tsukiyomi: Let's just hurry up, the longer we mess around, the closer we are to losing Sylria!

Bella: *nods* The sooner we have fish, the better!

Sakura: Hey, where's Shiryu?

**Middle of Nowhere**

Shiryu: Hello? Where is everybody?? How did I get all the way over here? You guys…?

* * *

_Written By: PlasmaKnight_

...

**Somewhere in the Nevada Triangle**

Shiryu was lost in the mythical pocket-dimension desert known only as the Nevada Triangle. Then he encountered a red Mercedes out in the middle of the desert. Not the Fairy, mind you, the car.

Shiryu: A car?

Car: Hey man.

Shiryu: It's talking!

Car: Yeah, I can do that.

Shiryu: Why are you here?

Car: Why are any of us here?

Shiryu: ... Let's go for a ride then.

So they do.

En Route to the Antarctic.

Sakura: (Over the intercome. In the creepiest voice she can manage.) There's no earthly way of knowing... which direction we are going...

Raxis: I thought we were going to the Antarctic? And this isn't an airplane or a sub.

Tsuki: Stop that. We need to hurry there in time to save Sylira.

Dindella: I thought we were underwater a while ago?

Tsuki: Details, details.

Bella: Are we going to do anything with this wood that's been sitting here for a few chapters?

Tsuki: The Giant Wooden Eels? Let's make something!

Sakura: Uhh, guys, we've got a heat signature invading our airspace. And we're getting a transmission from it.

Raxis: Satoko is invading our airspace?

Sakura: Oh whoops, that wasn't it.

Bella: My god, it's Kefka! He'll keep us up all night with his laughing!

Joanymar: No, he'll just kill us.

Bella: With his laughing?

Hitsugaya16: Let's kill him! Then we'll laugh!

Joanymar: Not so fast, he's godly strong. It's gonna be tough to take him on.

Raxis: At a time like this, there's two options. We must summon up our own god. We can either Summon Hanyuu and hope she can do something, or one of us can give up our bodies to the greatness of Gig. Or we can sell our souls to Satan or Enma Ai. That always works. Or we can ask Evangeline A.K. McDowell for help. Or Summon Terra Branford. Hell, we might just ask Kefka nicely not to murder us. We've got plenty of options, come to think of it

* * *

Joanymar: What're we going to do, what're we going to do??

Raxis: We're going to fight back.

Tsukiyomi: And how do you propose we do that?

Raxis: *evil smirk* Get out the catapults, we're going to throw the new recruits at him!

New Recruits: *shocked silence*

_Ryoushirou: I like him._

Tsukiyomi: Don't make me come over there.

_Ryoushirou: Bite me._

Tsukiyomi: Why you little-

Bella: What?! Do you know how hard they'll be to heal??

Dindella: Err, you really shouldn't do that.

Raxis: Aw, c'mon! They're disposable.

Joanymar: But we're family! And family doesn't launch each other from catapults!

Raxis: … how about cannons?

Everyone: NO!

New Recruits: *sigh of relief*

Raxis: *sigh of regret*

Tsukiyomi: So then how are we going to get rid of Kefka? *points out window as Kefka casts Bio on the hull of the airplane*

Dindella: I'm not cleaning that up.

Sakura: _Note to self, make cleaning Division._

Ayame: So we are on an airplane!

Joanymar: Maybe he needs a hug~!

Sakura: He's insane, he doesn't need hugs. He eats hugs for brunch.

Feronia: He's insane? We should recruit him!

Bella: That's a death wish!

Raxis: I call him as my fukutaicho!

Sakura: But we need another taicho!

Tsukiyomi: Uh, that can't be good…

Sakura: What?

Tsukiyomi: Joany's out there, trying to talk to him.

Everyone: WHAT?!

Ayame: Quick, follow her!

* * *

Outside

Joanymar: Hey guys!

Tsukiyomi: What do you think you're doing?

Joanymar: I'm going to be friends with Kefka!

Sakura: Ask if he wants to be taicho of the 8th or 12th Division.

Dindella: You're going to let her? Do you realize who that is??

Tsukiyomi: Sure, why not.

Sakura: What's the worst that can-

Dindella: Don't even finish that sentence.

Feronia: Can I come too?

Ayame: I'm coming too!

Joanymar: Sure, the more the merrier~!

Tsukiyomi: Let's all go then.

Raxis: This is suicide…

Feronia: We're off to see the wizard-

Everyone: STOP SINGING!

Feronia: Sorry!

* * *

_Written By: _

...

**Somewhere in the Nevada Triangle**

Shiryu: What's your name?

Car: Rutabaga.

Shiryu: Rutabaga.

Rutabaga: Yep.

Shiryu: You're a car named Rutabaga.

Rutabaga: Yep.

Shiryu: Strangely, I don't find that odd at all.

Rutabaga: That's a first.

Shiryu: Do you know how I even got here? One minute I was in the Insane Army Mobile, and then the next thing I know, I'm in the middle of nowhere!

Rutabaga: The Giant Lawn Gnomes of Doom summoned you.

Shiryu: Lawn Gnomes?

Rutabaga: Yes… the king, in fact.

Shiryu: What does he want to see me for?

Rutabaga: He thinks you're the heir to the throne.

Shiryu: *spit take* WHAT?!

Rutabaga: Just kidding.

Shiryu: *glare*

Rutabaga: Yeah, I have no clue what he wants to see you for.

Shiryu: Where is he anyway?

Rutabaga: In the Lawn Gnome Palace.

Shiryu: Right. And where's that?

Rutabaga: *stops* Right here.

Shiryu: *looks around* But there's nothing here!

Rutabaga: That's why we're going down.

Shiryu: Down into the ground?

Rutabaga: Is there any other way to go down? They're called Lawn Gnomes for a reason, y'know.

Shiryu: But you're a car.

Rutabaga: What's your point?

Shiryu: Well, cars can't dig.

Rutabaga: You'll see.

The car began to tip forward until its nose was resting on the ground. It slowly began to sink into the ground, gathering speed as it went.

Shiryu: Holy sh-

Rutabaga: You might want to buckle up.

Shiryu: I already am!

Rutabaga: Then you're screwed.

* * *

_Written By: Sakura2010-shs_

_..._

Sakura: *busy hitting random buttons on computer screen*

Koori no Hana: ... Sakura... do you even know what you are doing?

Sakura: OMG!! MY SWORD IS TALKING TO ME!!!

Bella: NO WAAAAAY!!!!!!

Sakura: OK! WE HAVE LANDED IN ANTARTICA!!!

Tsuk: Weren't we going to Antartica?

Ayame: ... I THOUGHT WE'RE VISITING THE PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR

Jo: PENGUINS!!!

Raxis: OMG!!! ALIENS~~

Sakura: -jumps into the sky- ALIENS TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!

everyone: ... WTF...

Koori no hana: ... there she goes....

**Koori no Hana = Sakura's zanpakutou

* * *

**OK... Things you should Know:**

_Below are the taicho of the insane army._

Squad 1 - Tsukiyomi (Tsukiyomi no Miko)

Squad 2 - Sakura (Sakura2010-shs)

Squad 3 - Sylira (doesn't get on ffn much, will get her penname in time)

Squad 4 - Bella (Masquerade Puppet Bella... I believe that's it... She's most know for writing the Naruto fic: 'The Devil's Daughter')

Squad 5 - Janymar (JoAnymAr12)

Squad 6 - Feronia ()

Squad 7 - Sasuke (not on FFN)

Squad 8 - currently... no captain

Squad 9 - Ayame (hitsugaya16)

Squad 10 - Silver (not on FFN)

Squad 11 - Raxis (PlasmaKnight, he's most noted for writing the Yu-Gi-Oh 'Journey' Trilogy.)

Squad 12 - Yami (not on FFN)

Squad 13 - Dindy (PrincessDindella)

**Other:**

Shiryu - not seated and squadless for now. will most likely change soon. (Um... not sure if he has FFN or not, most likely not.)

* * *

Now. Join us.

**_T H E I N S A N E A R M Y . P R O B O A R D S . C O M_**


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